Turkey Math

This is a serious math, folks, but not yet taught in our educational system. (Do I need to start a movement?) All women and men that orchestrate a holiday dinner need to be fluent in turkey math. Some know it instinctively and use it without being aware of this ability. Others simply flounder and know that something is wrong when they and their hungry family are waiting two hours for the last dish to be brought out of the oven and the mashed potatoes have turned into a chilled mass.

So, what is it exactly? This is a timetable for preparation of a holiday dinner from expected time to eat backwards to the beginning of preparation. The turkey is the cornerstone which we build this timetable.

To do turkey math, a couple of things must be in place.

1. You need a solid menu...set in stone. Meaning, no "corn or baked squash casserole". It either has to be one or the other or both. No choice at the last minute.
2. You have to know the weight of your turkey for cooking time.
   
3. The time you want to sit down for dinner.
   

With that information in hand, you are ready to do turkey math. I will demonstrate how it works.

Menu (this happens to be our menu for this year...works out well for me, now my turkey math is taken care of):

• Turkey
  
• Dressing
• Creamy Mashed Potatoes
• Gravy
• Butternut Squash Puree
  
• Broccoli and Rice Casserole
• Cranberry Sauce
• Watergate Salad
• Chocolate Pie
• Pumpkin Pie

The turkey weighs 14 pounds. It will have to bake @ 325 for 4 hours since it will be stuffed. We want to eat at 5:00. (hmmm...this is starting to sound an awful lot like high school algebra.) A turkey out of the oven should sit awhile to let it rest before carving. This works into my master plan.

Here is the turkey math action plan.

A week before:

1. Make the menu
2. Make a shopping list
3. Grocery shop for your holiday ingredients
4. Do turkey math
   

Three days before:

1. Remove turkey from freezer and place in refrigerator (thawing time: 24 hours per 5 pounds of turkey)
   

Two days before:

1. Make and freeze 2 pie crusts
   

The day before:

1. Make and refrigerate - Creamy Mashed Potatoes
   
2. Make and refrigerate - Butternut Squash Puree
   
3. Make and refrigerate - Watergate salad
4. Peel, chop and saute onions for dressing - refrigerate
   
5. Set bread out to dry
   

The night before:

1. Put turkey in brine

The day of:

1. 9:00 Make pumpkin pie and bake
2. 9:30 Make chocolate pie and bake
3. 10:00 pies should be out of oven and cooling
4. 10:00-11:00 take a break
5. 11:00 Make dressing
6. 11:30 Stuff turkey
7. 11:45 Put turkey in oven
8. 12:00 Set the table
9. 12:30 Clean up the kitchen
10. 1:00-2:30 have a glass of wine...nap...ponder the meaning of life
    
11. 2:30 Remove casseroles from refrigerator to come to room temp
    
12. 3:00 Assemble broccoli and rice casserole
    
13. 3:45 Remove turkey and keep covered
    
14. 3:45 Put all the casseroles in oven
15. 4:15 Make gravy
16. 4:30 Carve turkey
17. 4:45 Remove casseroles from oven
18. 4:45-4:59 Put all the yummy food on the table
    
19. 5:00 Eat!!

Good luck, all you little turkey mathematicians!